I’ve seen it all, really. every little flaw a person might have I’ve accepted as my own. once a feeling I had for someone I mistook as love which wasn’t the case. I didn’t love him, in retrospect I hated him. I craved his attention because I thought I needed it and I longed his touch because I thought it would make me, I was wrong. you only fall in love once & I was so blessed to have fallen for a guy who made me feel beautiful when the world was telling me I was ugly, who made me his everything when I felt like nothing, for the first time In a long time I felt love, but now its gone. I knew by showing him the sins of the world in the end could possibly ruin what we had but I believed what we had was stronger, that the temptation of another would not ruin us, I was wrong. when you find love and happiness you cling to it so strongly praying that nothing could ever get in the way of this because in all the bad in the world you were lucky enough to find our joy. I love you with all of my heart and till the day I die it will beat for you because you changed me so much and im blessed for it to have been you who swept me off my feet when I never thought it was possible, id give anything to have you back, but I want you back not this grotesque of a person youu think you are. there’s much more to life than sex, drugs and parties and you used to know that, you used to preach that, now that’s all you are. I sat at womble park on a swing with a guy who promised to love me till the day he died & I fell for him right then and there, now I look in to the eyes of a guy who walked out on me for the temptations of the world grasping a personality that doesn’t fit him. I miss you.
I always say that I don’t live to please anyone but myself but I’m lying I live to please everyone but myself. Now, I don’t give a fuckkkkkk about anyone. Why please people? They don’t care about me and it should be like wise. So I’m chuckin the dueces to the fake friends I didn’t need them then and I sure as fuck don’t need them now.
I sit and think do I regret you or thank you? Do I forget you or remember it all? Do I keep in touch or cut you out? Do I answer you at one in the morning or ignore the call? Everything about you still makes me crazy, your touch still dazes me, your voice still stops me. So what do I do now that its done? That I’m done? For good. What if God throws me a temptation? What if you realize you need me? You only fall in Love once in life so did I make a mistake by falling for you? What am I doing, thinking, hoping? I’m not equip for this. My heart can’t take anymore. I’ve given up and its because of youuu. So tell me, since yoou left me at this dead end, where do I go? Because my heart doesn’t feeel any longer and my eyes refuse to cry.
i miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, it’s 2 am and im cursing your name. your so in love that you act insane and thats the way i loved you, breaking dawn and coming undone, it’s a roller coaster kind of rush & i never knew i could feel that much & thats why i loved youuu.
when the rest of the world walks out, i’ll still be here. i promisee.
like a perfect scene from a movie screen, we’re a dream come true. suitly, perfectly for eternity, me and you. everyday i need you even more and the night time too. there’s no way i could ever let you go, even if i wanted to.
im tornnn & i dont know what to do. id it even possible to be in love with two?
I’ve figured you out, I do mean something to you, you just can’t publically admit it. I don’t know why, and to be honest who cares? Fact of the matter 36 months with you and your just afraid, sorry for being the closest thing to real you’ve ever had and I’ll ever lose.
Everytime you go and break my heart I can’t keep letting it affect me like it does but I just have a hard time understanding how you tell me we can’t be together but you say you love me. oh boy, if only you knew what i want to be with you. if only you knew if we could get past this things would change, damn. I love you.
I don’t get how when you break a promise it’s not shit, who cares? That’d be me, yah know the one you broke the promise too. I get your hurt I get that you need time but it’s been a year, and who’s always been there to listen to you day after day complain about the same fucking thing? I was. Who was always there to pick you up when you fell to the ground? I was. Who was there when no body wanted to give you the time of day? I was. Who loved you with all their heart no matter how much you hurt them & promised to never stop? That’d be me. So I don’t get what I do wrong. I dont get why I’m not good enough. Three years together and I’ve never ever lied to you, never hurt you, never even thought about it. Tell me. What? What is so hard to love about me? Why can’t I occupy just one third of your heart? You’ve broken my heart before, but this time you ripped it out & shredded it to pieces and watched me fall, watched me cry & seeing me hurt still didn’t make you care. I’m nothing to you & your everything to me. So, fuck it. I can’t do this anymore, I can’t hurt anymore. I can’t let anyone in & I’m not trying anymore. I’ll fly through life on autopilot because at least then I won’t mentally be there to hurt & and at least then I won’t cry myself to sleep another night because I don’t know what I do wrong..
It amazes me how you overlook everything I do for you. It amazes me how I’m not good enough for you yet I’m the only one that stayed. It amazes me that you look for someone who won’t hurt you and I’ve yet to ever do that in the three years youve kept me around. So tell me how you overlook the fact that no matter what I love you for who you are, flaws and all. It amazes me how, my love for yous nof good enough..
I’m scared of relationships. I’m scared of love. I’m scared of lots if things. What I’m most scared of is how I feel for you
